Learning to love my 'mum bod'.

Welcome back!

We all know that all of our bodies are ever changing, and after pregnancy, it's easy for a new mum to find herself not recognising her new physique.
You guessed it, this post will be all about me learning about my new, post-baby body.



*Potential trigger warning*
I will be talking about body image throughout this post and this post will also contain some graphic photos of my caesarean scar. 

Self image

I'll start off by saying that I've never been one to worry about how my body looks. I've always just accepted it for what it is (stretch marks and all!). However, when I was early pregnant, I was so excited to watch my body change and grow, and my gosh it grew

5 weeks pregnant bridesmaid

I loved watching my belly expand, not only because I was growing Edith, but it was the first time I have ever felt truly attractive. But, where does that leave me now? I don't dislike my body, but again, I'm just accepting it for what it is.


3 days post c-section
Wobbly bits

Although my frame is relatively small, I've always had stretch marks and wobbly bits. Thanks to pregnancy, I now sport some extra marks on my tummy, regardless of how much I doused myself in Bio Oil! So, I am now of the opinion that if it's going to happen, then no amount of moisturiser, or lotions, will prevent it.

Spud

So, last year, I went into a shop to try on some swimwear, for our upcoming holiday at the time, and I found myself feeling miserable looking in the mirror. I felt baffled. It was the first time I'd looked in a full-length mirror, since having Edith, and I didn't recognise the reflection staring back at me. 

I came away from the shop feeling somewhat upset, and I felt silly for it. I've only just had a baby, what did I expect? After all, my reflection wasn't that bad. It was just different

Weight loss

It's funny how, at the time, I felt really deflated with my body. However, what I didn't know is how quickly I would lose my baby weight that I'd gained when I'd had Edith. I then began to have a new worry about my appearance, which felt alien to me. 

Edith went through a stage where she fed so much, especially with cluster feeds and growth spurts, and just in general wanting comfort when we visited new places. I found myself losing more and more weight, to the point that I felt ugly when looking in the mirror. I hated seeing this bag of bones staring back at me. 

Like I've said before, I have always had a fairly petite frame, however, I'd reached a point where Max was beginning to be concerned about my weight. I began eating more and more, making sure that what I was eating was high in calories to try and gain that bit extra weight that I needed. It was a very strange time, and it made me feel disappointed in my body for failing itself. Edith was basically taking all of my nutrients and leaving me on empty. However, it seems that now Edith is feeding less, my body is managing to keep a hold of the foods that I'm eating and now I've started to regain some of that weight, which has made me feel much more comfortable. 




Reality

Edith is 1 year old. I knew that my body would never be the same after pregnancy. After all, it is one of the biggest things that a female body can go through.


My body is completely different to how it started before I was pregnant. Although I'm in all of my clothes pre-pregnancy, my body shape is definitely not the same as it was. I find myself struggling with finding clothes that fit my hips, but that also fit my legs. 

If you've been following my previous posts, you'll know that I loved pregnancy. I loved the idea of having a real bump, wearing maternity clothes, and I'm embarrassed to admit, finally have boobs!

In terms of reality, I think there is a major misconception about how quickly our bodies can recover from pregnancy, which has been mainly fuelled by the media. After my little sulk in the shop, I am happy to say that my body is more stretchy and wobbly than it ever has been before. I'm happy that I have big stretch marks. I'm happy that I will forever have a scar to remind me just how special my body really is.



My scar at 11 weeks post-partum


1 Year Post-partum


As pleased as I am with how my recovery has gone, I'd be lying if I said I didn't miss my muscle on my stomach. When you're pregnant, your tummy is, obviously, stretched to capacity, which means 'bye-bye muscle ability'. Slowly, but surely, my stomach has regained strength in my core. Not through exercising, but just through general day to day jobs. However, the days after my c-section, I actually saw the definition of 'jelly belly', when I looked down. It did make me laugh. I had zero control over what my stomach was doing when I moved!

Where am I now?


38 weeks pregnant v 11 weeks post-partum

1 Year post-birth



Right now, I am, and will forever be, grateful for my body being able to grow and, continue to, nourish Edith. Regardless of my wobbly bits, I am learning to embrace them, and love them. After all, we only have one body, and I intend on loving the one that I have.


Thanks, lovelies.


A.x






3 comments

  1. You look amazing!! Post partum bodies are not discussed as much as they should be. Well done you for sharing your progress!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Well done on being so respectful to yourself that you can be totally transparent on how you are feeling.
    Great post. I hope you will soon find yourself in your body.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Lovely post, you’re the first person I’ve read about that lost lots of weight while breastfeeding the same as I did, glad I’m not the only one!

    ReplyDelete