Becoming Mumsy

My journey through motherhood and everything in between.

Why parenting isn't all sunshine and daisies

Welcome back!

As a child, or even as a teenager, I was naive enough to think that babies and family life was easy peasy where everything was blissful all of the time. Oh, how naive of me!

So, I thought I'd write a post about why parenting isn't as easy as my younger self might have believed.

Identity loss

I love being a mum, truly, but that doesn't mean to say that I always find it easy or I don't crave a break. I'm only human, after all. There are days where I just need a bit of time to myself, away from being mummy, and just being Amy. 

The title of mum, is the best that I've ever been given and I love being able to provide for Edith every day. There are times where I think to myself 'what would I have done with myself before Edith was here?' and I struggle to remember. In terms of being myself, I don't think parenthood has changed me all that much. I've always been a 'stay in, put some candles on and relax with the TV on in the background' type of girl, so I can't say that much has changed. 

Everyday, I put on a bit of make up, and try to keep myself feeling like me. It's just something that I need to do that makes me feel better, even if it's a day that I'm not going anywhere.

Nothing is off limits

You know the saying 'what's mine is yours'? Well, I've never known anything truer. I thought that that saying was made up for married people, but how wrong I was. Nothing is off limits to a baby. Obviously, I don't let Edith have everything that she wants (safety and all that!), but now that she is more mobile, or at least interested in things, it's become clear that anything that I have, she will also want. So, if you're a parent-to-be, be prepared to share!

Bodily fluids will no longer phase you

Linking in with nothing being off limits, that includes bodily fluids too. Babies are great at being over sharers. I couldn't tell you how many times Edith has either done done a wee on me, or been sick over me (once in my mouth - yuck!). It's clear to say that it no longer bothers me. Of course, there's the odd nappy that is repulsive, but you've gotta do what you've gotta do!

'Mum guilt' is a real thing

I always thought that I'd be happy to still have time to myself. After all, I've just mentioned how I sometimes crave a break but what happens when I do get that break? I feel guilty. I never really knew that mum guilt would be a thing.

There are times when we have a particularly busy weekend and I feel guilty for it. It makes me feel like I should still be closer to our home and giving Edith all of my time. It makes me feel guilty for having time to myself and to enjoy things that don't necessarily involve Edith. I know for my own sanity though, that I need to just get on with doing those busy things, but sometimes the guilt is hard.

I think it all comes down to - am I doing the best for my baby? - because I think that's what every parent ultimately wants.



Say goodbye to date nights

Much to our dismay, cinema date nights are a thing of the past. Let me put that into context a little bit more. We used to always go to the cinema. It was our thing. No fancy dinners, or anything particularly extravagant but we would always enjoy going to the cinema, and maybe grabbing some dinner beforehand. I think the last time we managed a cinema trip in was to see Coco before I was due to have Edith. We have been able to squeeze in a baby cinema trip, which was great. Edith slept the whole way through the film, even thought it was quite loud, but it definitely felt like we were us again.

I know some people are probably wondering, 'why don't they let someone look after Edith?' and the answer to that would be that the mum guilt would creep in. Plus, with having Edith breastfeeding, I wouldn't be able to leave her that long in case she wanted the booby! Overall though, I'm not overly upset about the lack of date nights, because we do still have time together, and this time in our lives won't last forever, either. Edith won't always need us around her all of the time.

Now, this post probably sounded like I was complaining about parenthood, and I'm not. We wanted this so badly and it is everything that I'd hoped it would be. However, it doesn't mean to say that parenting isn't hard and it certainly isn't all sunshine and daisies.

Is there anything that you find particularly difficult about being a parent?

Thanks, lovelies.

A.x

5 comments

  1. It makes it much harder for you with no close family nearby.I certainly wouldn't have left my babies with anyone else. Maybe take full advantage of the nannies'next visits for a little cinema trip, I'm sure they would jump at the chance to have Edith all to themselves! Have you had a girlie night and left daddy in charge yet?

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  2. It makes it much harder for you with no close family nearby.I certainly wouldn't have left my babies with anyone else. Maybe take full advantage of the nannies'next visits for a little cinema trip, I'm sure they would jump at the chance to have Edith all to themselves! Have you had a girlie night and left daddy in charge yet?

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  3. It's all difficult! But very rewarding at the same time. I'm finally getting used to my identity 3 kids later!

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  4. I selfishly find the lack of lie ins really difficult. I used to be able to sleep until 10am or more and I really love my sleep. Now we are up at 7.30am at the ABSOLUTE latest every single day. In fact, that IS a lie in, we've been up at 5am and 6am more times than I dare to mention. It's going to get even more fun when baby number two arrives!

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  5. Mom guilt is a very real thing! Thanks for sharing <3

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