Becoming Mumsy

My journey through motherhood and everything in between.

Common questions asked to parents



Welcome back!

I thought I'd make a post about some of the strange questions that parents are asked, both when they are expecting and also once baby is actually here. Believe me, there are a few. 


Was it planned?

Now, this one in particular, drives me bonkers. I know people like to make general conversation once a pregnancy is announced, but something about this question just feels a little too personal. It's no secret that we encountered some difficulty and heartbreak when we were trying to conceive Edith, which you can read about here, but for some, it's a part of their life that they don't wish to share. 
So, this kind of question is a bit too personal for me.


Was it natural?

Again, this question is also very personal, and again, some may not wish to answer this because it's quite a private matter. This isn't a question that I've been asked, but I know a lot of women who have been. So, instead of asking 'was it natural?', let's try some more normal questions like 'when are you due?'

This question can also relate to the birth of the baby, too. It can be quite detrimental, to new mum's mental health, to suggest that a c-section, forceps, or any other intervention method during birth, is any less worthy of being described as what it is - birth. Does it really matter how a baby is born? I don't mean to say that it's not a great conversation to have, because people do genuinely seem to be interested in birth stories, you can read mine here, but perhaps when asking, the language could be somewhat different, rather than suggesting that it's unnatural.

When's the next one?

I was asked this question before Edith was even 1 week old, perhaps in jest but I'd just had major stomach surgery, recovering, looking like a mess and I get asked when the next one is popping along. No thank you!

Does baby sleep through yet?

There seems to be an obsession, as to whether a baby sleeps through the night. What does that even mean? Is there an ideal time that babies should sleep from and 'til? I'm not so sure. 

I think this question seems to put pressure on parents, by making them think that all babies should be sleeping through, when in reality, that's just not true. Some babies love to sleep at night, some babies don't. Some babies sleep little and often, whereas some babies sleep for an extended amount of time. There is no right or wrong, and we shouldn't be putting the pressure on new parents to see if their babies are sleeping all night. 

Is s/he a good baby?

Can someone tell me what a good baby is? 
This seems to be a pretty common question, but it's not one that I really know how to give the answer to. Edith, is a contented baby, but she definitely has her moments. She'll have days where she's off and is moodier than normal, or there will be days when she wants more of my attention than others, but I'm not sure that makes her a bad baby. Isn't that just what babies do?


Are there any strange questions that you've been asked in pregnancy, or in parenthood? I'd love to know!

Thanks, lovelies.

A.x

5 comments

  1. OH MY GOD, the 'is she good' YES thank you! She's the best behaved baby I own. Of course she's 'good', she doesn't know how to misbehave. She doesn't even know how to behave. How can she be good or bad if she has no malicious intention behind what she does? Sure she can be annoying but she's a bloody angel!!

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    1. Exactly! It’s such a strange question to ask. I’d love to know what a good baby actually is!

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  2. Couldn’t agree with you anymore! The was she/he planned drives me mad. Why would anyone want to tell you if their pregnancy was planned or not. For people to then turn round and say ‘ was she a mistake/accident’ to much labelling!

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    1. It’s so rude isn’t it? It’s not really nice for the child to hear as they are older either!

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  3. The best one for me so far was when I was at Morrison's the other day and the woman at the checkout asked me how the birth was, if I had to have forceps, what pain relief I used and then went on to give me the most DETAILED description of her labour ����.

    I also agree with every single one above!!

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