Becoming Mumsy

My journey through motherhood and everything in between.

Why mum-shaming has to stop.

Welcome back!

There's no surprise that since becoming pregnant, I have had copious amounts of advice thrown my way. However, it seems apparent that sometimes, people go beyond a level of 'advice' and it turns into shaming someone based on disagreeing with them. This has to stop.


Now, although my baby is young, I can still appreciate that some people become irritable about parenting being done 'right' as if there is a 'right' way to parent. Correct me if I'm wrong, but in my opinion, there is no right way to do anything, let alone parenting, but in fact, it's more a case of winging it and hoping for the best. After all, isn't that what every parent should be striving for - the best for their child? That doesn't mean to say that their way is the 'right' way, but rather it is the 'right' way for them.



A shame...

From my journey to trying to get pregnant, and my parenting journey, so far, I have met so many beautiful, supportive women. This is what we need. We need to be supporting one-another, not trying to tear each other down. 

I have made friends that have been torn down for their parenting approach, as if it should be the rightful concern of on-lookers. Regardless of my friend being a target of this, it is still wrong. and has such a negative effect on a parent's judgement and mental state.

Justify?


I think what annoys me most is how it makes parents feel as if they have to justify their actions, in order to appease someone else. 

When someone feels bashed, generally, the reaction becomes quite defensive, and rightly so. Why should we have to explain ourselves, especially when it doesn't affect anyone else?

I can empathise, in particular, with first time parents because, again, there are so many conflicting levels of advice. We shouldn't be making these people second guess themselves at all, because it can have a spiralling effect, where they begin to constantly question their parenting. This isn't fair. New parents, especially, should be enjoying this new point in their lives. It's not just about enjoying this new adventure, it's also about learning for themselves what works. 

I know that my parenting approach will most not likely work for other people, and vise versa, but I would never call someone else out on it because they aren't parenting my baby.

Anyway, as ever, let me know what your thoughts are on parent-shaming. Is there such a thing? Are people justified in doing so, if they think they are helping?

Thanks, lovelies.

A.x

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